


The Kissing Bet

by scorpiusmalfoys



Series: Parks and Recrevoltron [1]
Category: Parks and Recreation, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Alternate Universe - Parks and Recreation, Aromantic Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), Developing Relationship, Gay Keith (Voltron), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Japanese Shiro, Jewish Pidge, Keith and Shiro are Adoptive Siblings, Kissing, Korean Keith, Multi, Muslim Allura, Pidge is a little shit, Samoan Hunk, allura is leslie, but she's more temperamental than leslie, pidge and hunk bet on klance, thats honestly the only paralleled character in the whole thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 09:13:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10590924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpiusmalfoys/pseuds/scorpiusmalfoys
Summary: Parks and Recreation AUPidge and Hunk place bets on Keith and Lance but Keith and Lance know about the bet and ask Shiro to help them get back at the two.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is the product of procrastination pls dont judge me

Allura smiled at the camera.

“Hello, my name is Allura Regium and I am the deputy director of the Parks and Recreation department in our town of Altea,” Allura beamed. The scene cuts to Allura in a park pulling a drunk man from out of a purple slide.

“Sir, this is a children’s facility, I would like you to kindly remove yourself from this premises,” she grimaced trying to behave politely.

“Screw you.”

Allura scowled.

“Get. Out. From. The. Slide,” the woman grunted pulling the man’s arms aggressively. When she finally got the man from out of the slide, she brushed imaginary dust from off her body and smiled widely at the camera beckoning the camera to cut with wide eyes. The scene cut to Allura stood in the office.

“So, this is the Parks department,” she smiled giving a tour, “here we have our director, Takashi Shirogane, but we call him Shiro.”   
The camera turns to a muscly man who was currently applying eyeliner, he dropped the makeup when he noticed the camera and smiled awkwardly. The platinum blonde woman walked through to the main office.

“Here we have Katie Holt, my assistant but we call them Pidge because they hate their birthname,” Allura informed. The camera turns to a small person who was aggressively typing.

“’Sup.”

“This is Hunk Garrett, our office manager,” Allura moved on. She waved the camera to follow her. Hunk was sat at his desk decorating cupcakes. When he noticed the camera, he jumped and quickly started clicking things randomly on the screen.

“Hunk, the last time you did that, you downloaded Trojan onto the whole system and we had to replace the whole of our computers,” Allura said.

“I was putting our faces on these cupcakes,” Hunk bashfully said, holding up his tray to display carefully decorated cupcakes.

“They’re so cute,” Allura squealed. She then noticed the two boys arguing as they walked into the department carrying paperwork. The camera turned to them.

“I can definitely hold more than you,” the Cuban one bragged.

“You’re a noodle, Lance,” the Korean replied.

“Well, you’re… a stupid head,” ‘Lance’ fired back, smiling like he had just won the lottery.

“This is Keith Kogane and Lance McClain, the event organisers,” Allura said to the camera pointing to each person respectively.

“A baby could insult me better than you just did,” Keith deadpanned. Lance threw the paperwork up in the air with dramatic flair and shoved the papers out of Keith’s hands as well. Keith looked at the camera straight on.

“Allura,” Lance flirted, pointing finger guns at her. Keith angrily glared at the interaction and sat at his desk to sulk.

“Keith is really emo,” Lance told the camera. The camera cut to Keith aggressively sharpening pencils.

“I’m not emo, I’m just a very angry person,” Keith growled watching the pencil get sharper in the electric sharpener. The camera cut back to Allura.

“This is Coran and I’m not actually sure what he does, except be our token white male, but he works here,” Allura said to the camera showing a man with a ginger moustache who was currently lighting a scented candle.

“This is our office,” Allura smiled, looking straight at the camera as a small fire started and Hunk attacked it with the fire extinguisher.

★

“Shut up Keith,” Lance bickered.   


“What was I doing?” Keith asked throwing his arms in the air in anguish.   


“You’re breathing like an asthmatic dog,” Lance argued back.   


“If I actually was asthmatic, I wouldn’t use the inhaler and I would asphyxiate to death so I wouldn’t have to face you,” Keith seethed.   


“We have a betting pool on when they finally kiss,” Pidge said as the camera cut to them.   


“Pidge thinks they're winning but in reality, Keith and Lance are really oblivious of each other so I think it will take more than a year,” Hunk added.   


“I’m winning. Keith will definitely initiate it and it will be out of some sort of angsty lust from within that fuels it,” Pidge discussed, “a true fanfiction kiss.”   
The camera flew to Keith, who rolled his eyes, “they think we don't know about their bet but we do and we’re working a way around it to make sure we benefit from it.”   
The camera ended up in Shiro’s office, facing Lance and Keith.   


“So our plan of action is to ask Shiro to join the bet as our spy and when he says his time we plan to kiss then,” Lance smirked mischievously. Shiro walked into his office.   


“If you're asking for separate rooms to work in, the answer is no, we don't have that kind of money,” Shiro said looking at the two men sat in front of his desk.   


“We’re actually working together, Shiro, we’ve bonded, we’re like best friends forever,” Lance bragged.   


“I crave the sweet release of death,” Keith mouthed to the camera.   


“What scheme do you two miscreants have?” Shiro sighed.   


“Well, the thing is, Pidge and Hunk have a bet on when we’re going to kiss and we need a double agent and you're the only one cool enough to pull this off. Also you get money out of this,” Lance explained.   


“Also you get to see the smug smiles ripped off their faces,” Keith added.   


“How exactly is this going to work?”   


“Well, we set a date we’ll do it and then you ask if you can join the bet and when you join the bet you tell them that date,” Lance informed.   


“I’m in,” Shiro smirked.   


“ As their director, I shouldn't encourage this sort of behaviour but as someone who wants to see Pidge get something wrong, I’m 100% for it,” Shiro said to the camera that was now interviewing him.   


★

“So, I heard you guys are engaging in a bet,” Shiro mentioned.

“Yea and?” Pidge asked.   


“I’d like to join in,” Shiro replied.

“Okay, when do you think THE MOMENT will happen?” Pidge asked skeptically.   


“Well, honestly sometime next week, probably like, Thursday, they have that meeting with the city planners on Thursday, that's ought to create some sexual tension between them,” Shiro shrugged.   


“Okay,” Pidge peered down their glasses.   


★

“So we play it out like we’re arguing about something stupid like whether the carnival or the music festival will do better and then suddenly, bAM! Lip on lip action,” Lance explained. Keith nodded as they drove to their workplace. Today was the day.   


“I’m actually really nervous about this whole kissing thing,” Keith sighed to the camera. He then looked up to see Lance winking at him and blowing a kiss in the window which made a blush appear on his pale cheeks. Shiro was ordering a new Kat Von D eyeliner when Pidge came into his office.   


“So, today's supposedly the big day, I guess you’ll be so upset when you're wrong,” Pidge patronised.   


“Who says I’ll be wrong?” Shiro asked casually.   


“The Universe, Shiro,” Pidge dramatised then sauntering out of Shiro’s office dramatically like Draco Malfoy in A Very Potter Musical. Shiro looked into the camera and smirked.   


★

  
“Uhm, Queef, you're wrong. The Carnival is the most important event this year,” Lance argued. This was when the fated kiss was going to happen. They walked into the office pretending to be at each other’s throats. 

“Well, Lame-ce, the music festival needs more organising, you're just putting people in a parade and getting a few food stalls, I have to hire musicians, I need a bigger budget,” Keith replied seething. Pidge was by the coffee machine, making a drink.   


“Well why don't you ask them to do it for free?” Lance exclaimed.   


“What self-respecting musician performs for free?” Keith cried.   


“The Carnival is a pivotal moment in our Town’s History!” Lance shouted.   


“Lance, the carnival celebrates white people conquering America. You're Cuban!” Keith exclaimed.

“The Carnival is colourful, the music festival will probably just be filled with shitty local bands and one good band that is our town’s only claim to fame!” Lance shouted, his face inching closer to Keith’s.

“Have fun with your cracker celebration,” Keith seethed, his face also getting closer.

“Have fun with your hipster showdown,” Lance replied sneering. Keith then captured Lance’s lips in his own, sliding them against each other.  Pidge dropped their coffee, which splashed all up their trouser leg. Keith hands flew up to cup Lance’s face and when Lance started to kiss back, Lance’s hands held Keith’s waist. The pulled back to breath and then resumed.

Oh My God!” Hunk cried walking in with large Starbucks order in his hand. Pidge glared at Shiro who shrugged ‘innocently’ and went back to his eyeliner order, Nyx were having a sale on their Vivid Brights line. They continued to snog each other in the middle of the floor, hands running all over each other.

“Okay. Okay, this is a family show,” Allura worried.

“We would blur it out,” Lance said.

“FAMILY SHOW!” she shouted. Pidge went into Shiro’s office.

“How did you know?” she asked threateningly.

“Keith’s my brother, we’re like telepathically linked,” Shiro attempted.

“He's your  _ adopted  _ brother.”

“Still my brother,” Shiro shrugged.

“Hmm, okay but just like me tell you, I am watching you Takashi Shirogane,” Pidge threatened. She exited his office and looked at Keith and Lance, who were now talking between each other like nothing happen.

★

“Shiro!” Allura squealed, “we got our grant for the new park!”

Shiro looked up from his computer screen, one eye of his eyeliner done in a fancy style whilst the other eye was surrounded with red from vigorous scrubbing.

“That’s great,” he smiled.

“Do you have pink eye?” Allura asked worried.

“What? No. I keep messing up this cool eyeliner look,” Shiro said. The scene cut to Allura at her desk.

“I’m pretty sure I’m the only one that does their job in this office,” she grimaced.


End file.
